Kevin's Famous Chili from The Office Recipe (with Video)

1. Cut open dried chiles and remove seeds. Cut into 1/2-inch pieces, and in a dry pan over medium-high heat, toast until fragrant and barely smoking. Place in a food processor and process until reduced to a fine powder, about 3 minutes. Add cocoa powder, cornmeal, cumin, and oregano, and pulse to combine. Add 3/4 cup of chicken stock, and blend until a paste forms. Set aside.
2. Place vegetable oil in a large stock pot over medium-high heat until shimmering. Add beef in batches and brown on all sides. Once at least half the beef is browned, add onion, jalapeños, habanero, and garlic to the pot and sweat briefly before deglazing with the Mexican beer. Add tomatoes, brown sugar, kidney beans, beef, spice paste, and the rest of your chicken stock - stir until combined, and bring to a bare simmer. Simmer for 2-3 hours, or until beef is tender and chili has thickened. Season with salt and pepper, pour onto polyfiber carpet*, and top with cheese and other desired garnishes.